Salesmen and stupid dinner party conversation

I was recently at a dinner party. I'm not much of the dinner party type to be quite honest but I like most of the people who were attending this function. I can be known to enjoy conversation although I'm more of a listener than anyone who can be confused as the life of the party.

At this dinner party was a salesman. I can always tell when someone is in sales before they mention what they do because they ask lots of questions and don't listen to a single one of your answers. This guy (I'll call him Justin) asked me what I did for a living three times and never really listened to a word I said. Salesmen like "Justin" annoy me and I can't resist the temptation to screw with them.

I mentioned that I had sold my car recently and in a predictable response he said, "So you sell cars, that's great!" Now keep in mind that I told him what I actually do for a living and never ever once did I say I sold cars. But instead of correcting him and telling him yet again I just decided to play along.

First he tells me "I have great respect for people who sell cars." Now if you know any sales people you know this is code. This means that he thinks that selling cars isn't worthy of respect and ranks down near selling DVD players and washing machines. So basically he's pretending to show me respect for a line of work I don't even do. I pretended to be flattered by his admission of respect for what he thinks I do for a living (again because he's an idiot) and I begin to tell him the secrets of selling cars. He listens and asks tons of questions. Everyone else at the table knows I don't sell cars. Everyone else at the table works with this salesman and every minute that passes by while I spout off bullshit about a job I know nothing about emphasizes that this guy is a complete tool. In other words I'm in my element.

Then "Justin" starts talking about current affairs. He basically knows nothing except to bash the Bush administration like anyone who lives in Seattle. But instead of defending Bush I suggest that his so-called solution for stem-cell research is flawed because it defies the laws of economics and personal incentive. He then says, "...well we shouldn't talk about politics in mixed company." and then proceeds to leave the table. This is typical of Seattle liberals when confronted with the radical notion of something known as "an opposing view."

I have since offered my help to him in getting a good deal on a car if and when he is interested...since I'm an insider in his tiny mind.

I think I may tell him to use a 'code phrase' with the salesman to get an insider deal...something like "I'd like you to slip me into something with leather." I'll add that to seal the deal he has to offer the code phrase with a knowing wink. At that point I hope he finds the kind of deal he deserves.

Our solar system just became less accepting

The Bush Administration has once again let the 'little guy' down by their dangerous and reckless policies. Now a planet in our solar system is the latest victim of so-called "Compassionate Conservatism."

Pluto, whose only crime is being the smallest planet in our solar system, is now on the outside looking in as the exclusive club of 'planets' just became smaller.

I guess if this type of thing continues to happen to small plants that are far away then which soon-to-be-former planet will be next? If we can't send a probe to Uranus then I guess we just tell them to find another solar system? This policy must stop now.

Yes, I realize I said "send a probe to Uranus." Snicker.

Things that are fun to believe...but probably aren't true.

These things are fun to believe in:

That the lunar landing was faked.

That someone not named Oswald killed JFK.

That Democrats actually care about minorities and working people.

That Republicans really care about the deficit.

That the Federal Reserve is a corrupt secret society of private bankers.

That Condi and Dubya are getting it on.

That John Kerry's skin is naturally orange.

That Jimmy Page (former Led Zep guitarist) isn't an evil mastermind behind all celebrity deaths.

That listening to Joe Satriani is cool.

That most of you know who Jimmy Page and Joe Satriani are.

People!

Most of you who will read this will not have any idea what I'm talking about. Grump however shares my love for 60's Psychadelic Rock so he'll appreciate my description of my weekend as I take a break from telling you how worthless Republicans are.

I saw a reunion concert of the 60's band People!. No, I'm not shouting they actually had an exclamation point in their name. Their only big hit came the year I was born and was a song originally performed by the Zombies. I never really liked the song however they had alot of other great songs.

The best part about the group is that they are a group that makes up the subtext of the era. Everyone knows the big names, but instead it's bands like Love, Moby Grape, and People! that describe the time more fully. I always love the band that becomes the footnote in any music genre discussion because they are generally the honest influence behind the chart toppers. These are the bands that changed the culture but didn't make nearly as much money.

I'd also like to add that I blame George W. Bush for the break-up of People! in the late 60's.

I'm going to sharing some new information about my upcoming and long overdue book...look for it.

Bruce Guthrie

Bruce Guthrie is running for US Senate for the State of Washington against incumbent Maria Cantwell.

His website is here.

Bruce is the only candidate in the race that is:

For bringing home the troops from Iraq.
Reducing troops permanently stationed abroad.
For marriage equality.
(To conservatives out there I'm not sure his position on whether a human can marry their dog but stay tuned for updates on his site)
For eliminating budget deficits

Maria Cantwell's campaign called me the other evening at home and asked if they could count on my support again. Funny, since I've never voted for her in my life and routinely call her "Maria Can't Vote Well" She was also an executive at Real Networks and I've always hated Real Player.

Anyway, visit Bruce's site and get to know him

Message to the FEC:

I don't work for Bruce's campaign nor is my post any type of in-kind donation to his campaign or Senator Cantwell's so back off.

Republicans Deserve to lose in '06

I'm actively discouraging everyone I know from voting for any Republicans on the Federal Level in 2006. I believe that the best thing we can do for this country is have some good old fashioned gridlock.

Since so many of you Republicans visit this blog (and I appreciate your presence dearly) please tell me why Republicans deserve another chance. I'm curious what you think...or if you think. (excuse the cheapshot there)

The Minimum Wage

It's the same discussion that comes up every few years...what to do about the Federal Minimum Wage.

Many Democrats push the old argument that if you're against raising it then you're against the working poor and don't want to give a livable wage to a single woman who waits tables to feed her four kids. Her kids are already mal-nourished because you're the same person who wants to cut their free food program at school...oh and you poison their water also.

If you're for the minimum wage then you're compassionate and loving and one with the universe but you think it's compassionate to mandate that people live on a slightly higher (yes still unlivable) wage.

How high should the minimum wage be? I know how much it costs to live these days...maybe it should be $15 dollars an hour. Why should anyone in America have to work for less than 30k a year? After all, the mother with four kids is not going to be able to give her children any kind of life on less than 30k a year. But 30k a year isn't really that much and it certainly doesn't make up for what should be a 2nd income that a spouse would provide. Why not have the minimum wage also make up for the salary inequity that results from her being a woman. Her earning potential is less so really her annual salary based on a truly compassionate minimum wage should be $50,000.

But what do I know? I'm just a heartless libertarian that doesn't want to help anyone who is on the bottom rung. After all I grew up in a relatively stable family, a good house with indoor plumbing, had middle-income parents and unfairly had life opportunities that gave me advantage in life that poor people couldn't possibly know without a compassionate and fair minimum wage.

Except that I'm a libertarian, nothing in the previous paragraph is true.

Blame on both sides?

Lately I heard a commentator on a news station say, "There's enough blame on both sides to go around." concerning the fighting between Israel and Hezbollah.

Are you kidding me? How can you say that with a straight face?

An armed militant group is attacking a neighboring sovereign country by launching rockets across the border and the country on the receiving end of the rockets is supposed to take it for the sake of peace?

Lebanon says they can't control Hezbollah and therefore admits that they are not a sovereign nation in control of what happens inside their own borders. If Lebanon is not going to put a stop to Hezbollah attacking their neighbors then they don't deserve peace.

When Israel responds to attacks and blows up a rocket launching point is always seems to kill innocent people...typically because Hezbollah launches their rockets from suburban neighborhoods, hospitals and schools.

If Lebanon needs help controlling their borders then they should ask for it...if they just look the other way when militants attack Israel from Lebanese neighborhoods then they should not act surprised when Israel takes out the trash.

I'd also like to mention that the Seattle Mariners are 3 1/2 games out of first place in the American League West and at the same time in last place. It's cool to be in a terrible division.

The Low Hanging Fruit Department

Lance Bass, band member of 'N Sync says he's gay and in a 'very stable' relationship with a reality show star.

I must have gaydar because I've been saying 'N Sync is gay for a long time.

(badooom tshhhh)

Bush finally learns to spell VETO

Without a doubt George W. Bush is the WORST president in my lifetime. I never thought anyone would top LBJ but Dubya has managed to do it. This proves that Texas should never be allowed to run anyone for president ever again. I realize fully that would also exclude Ron Paul from another candidacy but I would probably gather a scientific team to clone Congressman Paul and move his clone to another state. Then I would support a Ron Paul's Clone for President campaign in the future...but anyway.....

With the absolute rubbish that has been signed into law including unprecedented spending it amazes me that on the subject of Stem Cell research he has finally found the peaches to veto a bill...a bill that will probably see an override.

I won't blame Republicans for this...while 52% of you voted for Bush out there...several other millions voted for Kerry or even worse...Gore. Shame on all of you for giving this country the electoral equivalence to Dumb and Dumber.

In the last 16 years the Whitehouse has been filled with disappointing figures. I can hardly wait to see which chump most of you out there elect in 2008 thinking very much will change.

Update

I've posted an update on how my two nieces are doing and a report on the progress that's been made on getting her finances in order.

Click here to see the post on my main website.

Thanks,
-tracy

Dealing with Victoria's Crap

I've written about this before and have followed this issue for about a decade. You see our progressive and environmentally conscious neighbors to the north use our shared waterway as a sewage treatment area for their capital city of British Columbia.

From the Oregonian:

"Dumping raw sewage into the Strait of Juan de Fuca is no longer a good long-range strategy for the British Columbia capital, an independent scientific panel has concluded."

So basically an independent scientific study says that Victoria, British Columbia (Population 74,100) should probably begin looking for another solution to dumping their sewage than that of letting is just spill off into open waters. What is their response?

Also from the Oregonian:

"We know that there are some who would like us to make a decision immediately," Victoria Mayor Alan Lowe said in a statement released as the regional board met behind closed doors.

"While I understand those concerns, it is important that we look at all facets of the sewage issue," Lowe said. "Only then will we be in a position to make an informed decision."

Our progressive and environmentally superior neighbors would like to make an informed decision about whether it's really okay to dump their crap into a waterway strait that both of our nations use.

Oh Canada, please treat your sewage like other first world nations...that is if you can make time when you're not patting yourself on the back for being so environmentally superior to your hillbilly southern neighbors.

North Korea

Wanna know why one coutry spreads rumors about having WMD's and gets invaded, while another boasts that they have WMD's and can prove it and then tests delivery systems and hardly gets any consideration by our government?

For all you leftists out there that immediately screamed, "OIL!!!" please sit down and be quiet.

The Korean peninsula is not very big. The North Korean Army outnumbers the South Korean army by a factor of 10:1. The city of Seoul is within artillery range of North Korea. Basically the South Koreans are sitting ducks. Only our military intervention would eventually liberate the southern part of the peninsula, but would never prevent a successful invasion.

Not much has changed since 1950.

I do hope the Seattle Rainiers win the pennant again this year.

Hamas (part 2)

When Hamas won the elections in Palestine I wrote that they would eventually lighten up their rhetoric against Israel...and they did. They were only a week ago ready to forge documents that actually recognized Israel's right to exist. Hardly anyone believes that they were actually sincere, but this is still the first step in diplomacy. For the words 'diplomacy' and 'Hamas' to be used in the same sentence is still a step forward.

Now militants have captured an Israeli soldier and will let him return to his homeland alive if the Israelis let go 1000 Palestinian prisoners. This was an opportunity for Hamas to shine in the eyes of the world. They could have and should have turned up ever stone to find this soldier and return him to Israel. If they had done this they would established themselves as a Government that respects the rule of law and would have bolstered their position to negotiate for the release of these same Palestinian prisoners.

Instead they hemmed and hawed and provided no real assistance and as a result they have tanks lined up on their Gaza border and will probably be invaded soon.

Hamas did lighten up. Their willingness to have diplomacy with Israel angered loosely connected militants and now their hands are tied. Instead of using their power to restore order they began to make speeches that sounded more like the militants themselves. Hopefully in the coming years Hamas will not just lighten up, but also smarten up.

Happy Independence Day

This is my favorite holiday without a doubt. I celebrate this day with all the gusto I can muster and I'm not the least bit sorry for it. I'm so excited for this day I can't stand it.

I'm going to a kid's parade in the morning and then the 'grand' parade my town has. After the grand parade I'm going to a revolutionary war reenactment and watch redcoats and minutemen shoot at each other...I hope we win this year.

After that my family is coming to my house and we're gonna stuff ourselves with food and pretend to like each other until it gets dark...then we'll go see a fireworks show. If I had more land I'd explode stuff myself...maybe in a year or two.

I enjoy the story of this country and the miracle of its founding. It's a story I never grow tired of hearing. The principles of liberty are so core to our culture...even among conservatives and liberals. I love my country and I'm proud to be a citizen of the United States.

Have a great weekend!

Schizo Society

A social observation that simply needs to be made.

I've sat and watched over a period of nearly a couple of years as young people have experienced the early demise of friends through the irresponsible use of drugs and alcohol and the whole party lifestyle.

I've followed closely in particular those who consider themselves to be close to my niece's husband who was the victim of a hit and run where the driver was under at least some influence of alcohol and on his way to score some meth for his exciting sleepless weekend. So many close to the situation resented the driver for the heinous crime that he committed, leaving a man for dead on the side of the road.

What has floored me is that these same people who resent this man so much would've probably found themselves in the same circle, or at the same parties if only he hadn't killed their friend. I've looked at their myspace accounts and read in the weeks that followed Jon's death their discussions about their way cool, out of control, party lifestyle.

So Schizo are these people that they cry and curse the driver for being such a POS, and then only a day following an emotional and heartwrenching memorial tribute to their friend they talk about being under the influence of the same substances as the driver...the man they now hate.

The words of King Solomon reflect what these people are all about:

"Like a dog that returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."

I believe it is me that truly needs to accept the fact that my life's mission is to help people and sometimes it involves helping dumbasses.

Back to more Bush bashing soon, I promise.

Many Thanks

Thanks to everyone for kind letters, emails, and cards during the past couple of weeks. I'm very humbled by the generosity that many of you have shown to my two nieces. They have expressed many heartfelt moments opening envelopes with kind words of encouragement and financial gifts.

A call for help

I apologize for using the blog to draw your attention to something else but my family has had a tough week as a result of a tragedy. If you'd like more information about the possibility of helping two deserving people then please head over to my main site I use to promote my book.

Thank you,
-tracy

Straw Poll '08

Get out your straws. Tell me who you would support if they announced their candidacy right now. Only restrictions are that they must be eligible for the presidency and be currently alive. Normally a person has to be alive to be a candidate but I'm reasonably sure that Gerald Ford was a robot.

Ann Coulter

I had a request to blog about Ann (you know who you are) because she just released another book and she was just criticized heavily by Hilary Clinton who is the smartest woman on the face of the earth except for Washington Governor Christine Gregoire.

I haven't read Ann's book nor have I read any of her books. I have however heard her in several interviews on different websites and she is never and I mean never shy about backing up something she writes. In fact she usually takes her words and makes them more harsh.

First of all, I find Ann Coulter's attitude funny. She is an iconoclast not a politician. (I also find Al Franken funny) It's a politician's job to be diplomatic and attempt to make everyone happy by using double-talk and BS. The job of an iconoclast is to challenge what are commonly held perceptions from a contrary point of view. She's good at it and besides she's trying to sell books. Personally, I relate to her attitudes because I also love seeing icons torn down, but I won't defend her. She can defend herself.

What about the wives of the 9/11 victims that she has been criticizing?

It's the role of an iconoclast to say unpleasant things sometimes. Most of the victims have struggled to go on with their lives, but others have attempted to become public figures using the leverage of their victim status. I refuse to accept that once these people become public figures they are 'untouchable' because they're also high-profile victims. If being an activist is your way of grieving then I'm sorry; you've chosen a terrible way to grieve that will never really help you to heal.

It's like how Grump has told me several times that a Vietnam Vet can win any argument about Nam simply by saying, "...but you weren't there." End of story; Vet wins argument by default.

People like Ann Coulter and Al Franken are important to have around. They make it okay to talk about things we'd normally feel uneasy about...plus, I like Ann's hair.