Salesmen and stupid dinner party conversation

I was recently at a dinner party. I'm not much of the dinner party type to be quite honest but I like most of the people who were attending this function. I can be known to enjoy conversation although I'm more of a listener than anyone who can be confused as the life of the party.

At this dinner party was a salesman. I can always tell when someone is in sales before they mention what they do because they ask lots of questions and don't listen to a single one of your answers. This guy (I'll call him Justin) asked me what I did for a living three times and never really listened to a word I said. Salesmen like "Justin" annoy me and I can't resist the temptation to screw with them.

I mentioned that I had sold my car recently and in a predictable response he said, "So you sell cars, that's great!" Now keep in mind that I told him what I actually do for a living and never ever once did I say I sold cars. But instead of correcting him and telling him yet again I just decided to play along.

First he tells me "I have great respect for people who sell cars." Now if you know any sales people you know this is code. This means that he thinks that selling cars isn't worthy of respect and ranks down near selling DVD players and washing machines. So basically he's pretending to show me respect for a line of work I don't even do. I pretended to be flattered by his admission of respect for what he thinks I do for a living (again because he's an idiot) and I begin to tell him the secrets of selling cars. He listens and asks tons of questions. Everyone else at the table knows I don't sell cars. Everyone else at the table works with this salesman and every minute that passes by while I spout off bullshit about a job I know nothing about emphasizes that this guy is a complete tool. In other words I'm in my element.

Then "Justin" starts talking about current affairs. He basically knows nothing except to bash the Bush administration like anyone who lives in Seattle. But instead of defending Bush I suggest that his so-called solution for stem-cell research is flawed because it defies the laws of economics and personal incentive. He then says, "...well we shouldn't talk about politics in mixed company." and then proceeds to leave the table. This is typical of Seattle liberals when confronted with the radical notion of something known as "an opposing view."

I have since offered my help to him in getting a good deal on a car if and when he is interested...since I'm an insider in his tiny mind.

I think I may tell him to use a 'code phrase' with the salesman to get an insider deal...something like "I'd like you to slip me into something with leather." I'll add that to seal the deal he has to offer the code phrase with a knowing wink. At that point I hope he finds the kind of deal he deserves.