Tuesday, September 23, 2008

That cool mist

The vertical urinal is something all men learn to use at an early age. It has a convenience that is unmatched and it is probably the most odor free of all urinal designs save for the old time urinals that are basically open toilet bowls that hang on the wall. Those waste too much water.

A few years ago I discovered something terrible about vertical urinals. I was wearing shorts because it was a hot day and I could feel something that the CIA calls blowback. An unintended consequence that results from an action. In this case the action was peeing and the blowback was in the form of stray micro-droplets that I could feel hit the skin on my legs.

Reason dictates that if I can feel the blowback on my bare legs then there must also be unfelt blowback on my pants during the 99% of the time I wear pants. Does this have you uneasy? Me too.

Think about all the men out there wearing Khakis, slacks, denim jeans, and tailored suit pants lightly misted with urinal blowback. Think about it.

Ewwww.

Admit it though, you're glad this post wasn't about politics. I am.

8 comments:

SHitt said...

Glad Indeed

ronald said...

I'm not sure what to say but this post did help me forget the economic crisis we are in.

Amber said...

Good thing I pee sitting down. Of course, when you flush the toilet, there are micro droplets of crapwater flying into the air, so be sure to put down the lid or stand back if you're squeamish about breathing in that kind of shit.

robert the grump said...

I'm a Democrat. I piss green tea and crap organic apple mulch.

Blowback is of no concern to me.

Gino said...

ladies, think of this post next time you lay your head in tracy's lap.

Esther said...

This is anecdotal evidence, Tracy. It proves nothing except that once there was blowback when you peed. It might have something to do with the ventilation in the bathroom where you were at the time, your height or some other factor. There's gonna have to be a double blind clinical study to make sure this is a regular phenomenon for most men. Then a few more double blind clinical trials to make sure the first one's findings were correct. After that we can come up with some kind of antibacterial pants to help prevent the spread of gross germs. Unless of course, the trials show none or minimal blowback. Eventually we will discover that the antibacterial pants actually cause germs to become resistant to antibiotics and have to stop treating blowback with such things. Either that or someone will die wearing antibacterial pants and the FDA will take them off the market . . .

Tracy said...

I don't think I want to pee in a blind study. I have enough problem aiming with my eyes open.

Badoom tshhh!

Esther said...

No antibacterial pants for you then. ;oD