Wednesday, March 12, 2008

A Thought Experiment

One time I presented a thought experiment to many male co-workers.  The question was:

If you had to marry another guy who would it be?

Most of the intelligent guys I worked with wanted to know where I was going with it so they turned the question around on me.  I'm okay with that...after all it was my experiment.  Here is how I answered:

Without question I would marry my buddy Eric.  We've never been in a fight.  I respect him quite a bit.  He's funny and we have a great deal in common.  I would marry him.

After they heard me answer they began listing different guys they would marry.  I'll never forget my boss at the time who said he couldn't make up his mind which two guys he wanted to marry so he asked if he could marry them both.  In my experiment I allowed that he could not only marry a guy, but two guys if he wanted.  He seemed relieved.

One guy in my department though struggled greatly with the experiment and finally said that he knew of no guy that he'd want to marry because he'd want to have a guy that looked like a girl.  When he said this everyone went quiet...and then wisely a colleague named Jason stated the obvious:  "Uh, dude...they'd still be a guy."

So I'm presenting this thought experiment to you:

If you had to marry a person of the same sex (by "had to" I mean that in my experiment conditions exist where there is no choice) or if you had to marry a pet...who or what would it be and why?


Mr Evil said...

Wow, I was not expecting this when I pulled up your web site. I would marry my pet lizard. He is far smarter that all my guy friends and he has a very long tongue.

Anonymous said...

You two timing asshole. Who is this Eric? I go to Fred Meyer with you and this is what I get? /spit

Dave Johnson said...

I would probably marry a friend from high school named Tim, because he's now filthy rich, and I figure if I have to spend the rest of my days "bedding down" with another man, I might as well have all the money I need to try and forget about what we do at night.

Kell Bell said...

I'd pick Kiera Knightly. No boobies, but probably loads of fun.

berburbaby said...

Well, this is too hard. I don't have many friends of the same sex. As a matter of fact, I don't have many friends. I suck.

I guess I would marry my cat. I hate him, but he's likely going to die soon (fingers crossed) so that would leave me free to marry whoever the heck I wanted.

BTW, Dave, no one said you had to do anything in Bed with him.

Warren said...

Very good point Dave. If you are going to have to marry a man, do it for money...wait, isn't that what women have been doing for years? DOH! ;-)
I've already done this experiment. My ex-wife had more testosterone than me...I don't have to play again. But someone into wildlife photography would be cool.

robert the grump said...

I believe that gays are born, not a product of environment. Therefore, this experiment cannot work.

I excuse myself.

But it is interesting to note that for enough money, Dave will sleep with another man.

I'll forward along to Larry Craig.

Gino said...

my best buddy from HS days. he's neat as a pin, smart with money, earns 6 figures,educated, and had absolutely no interest in sex. (with anybody. still a virgin at 43). babes think he's handsome, so i would get the casteoffs.

it would be a felix-oscar type marriage. i'm a beer drinkin brutish slob, he's all sober and mr tidy, neat dresser, who never forgets a birthday.

Esther said...

I cannot seriously entertain this question. There is no alternative reality in which I could envision myself marrying a girl for any reason.

Tracy said...

In my mind the thought experiment is to explore the ideas we hold about marriage in general. The attempt to remove gender was to control raw things we expect in a marriage or from the institution itself.

Some of my observations:

Some liked sex and money.

Some wanted comfortable living and convenience.

Some wanted companionship that was compatible and fulfilling.

One was a gold digger waiting for the cat to die (Anna Nicole?)

For some the institution itself was personal enough that entertaining the notion within the restrictions I offered was impossible.

Then there was Mr. Evil...reminds me of the Motorhead song "Love me like a reptile"

For the record: I know Eric and I would have an open marriage and agree to see other people.