Thursday, January 25, 2007

State of the Union

I opened no less than four emails from people asking me to blog on the State of the Union. Not to mention Grump reminded me via instant messenger. I'm having a hard time knowing where to begin. I'll give you some background on me and the State of the Union speeches.

I've watched every State of the Union speech since Ronald Reagan was president. Hell, I even watched a couple of Jimmy Carter's. One thing I do like about the speech is that it is usually a fairly positive view of our nation complete with an overstatement of our accomplishments, understatement of any problems and an exaggeration of problems that don't really exist.

First the overstated accomplishments:

The economy statement that 'inflation is low' - It is fairly low right now but it is on skakey ground. This is the fault of both parties using a monetary policy that is doomed for failure.

On pace to retire the defecit in five years. - The deficit now is 172 billion dollars. This is actually fairly low compared to deficits of former administrations and is directly attributed to the economy. When it gets this low raising taxes can actually make a difference. If the deficit becomes a campaign plank in 2008 then expect a tax increase in 2009 no matter who is president. Personally, I could eliminate the deficit in six months...congress won't do it however.

Woman Speaker of the House - This gets a collective 'big deal' from me but she is a rather attractive woman for her age. She's far better looking than Dennis Hastert. You can tell how seriously I take this speech.

Understatement of problems:

Iraq - Only when Iraqis begin fighting and defeating the foreign fighters in their land will this ever turn more optimistic. My bet is we'll have a troop presence in Iraq ten years from now.

Earmarks - I loved their standing ovation for a call to end the practice of earmarks. Today I'm standing boldly to call for an end of diarrhea. (insert applause here)

Targeted tax breaks will help people who can't afford medical coverage - Dumb plan. Dumb plan. Dumb plan. I don't even know where to begin. This is a middle-class tax increase in disguise.

Exaggerations of problems that don't exist:

The need for bipartisanship - If you ask me I just want them to fight and fight and fight. Fight so much you don't even have time to solve my problems. Get fighting!

Eliminating the deficit - Why bother? When as bold as you can get is to balance the budget in five years I'm just not going to take this seriously at all. The defecit should be eliminated now. We should stop the practice of selling off debt to other nations who are temporarily devaluing their currency for a preferred trade status.

Greatest moment:

The guy who rescued that person on the NYC subway. It's good of someone in that room to have some balls and take a risk for the benefit of other people. He was the only person in that room that I trust...except Ron Paul.

There you have uninspired recap of an uninspiring moment in the history of our nation.


robert the grump said...

My favorite part of the speech was where he laid out the exit plan for Iraq...okay, I made that up. Iraq got the equivelent of a one column inch retraction on page 8 of the daily newspaper.

I guess the biggest problem this nation faces magically solved itself, just like the half trillion dollars we've paid for the war magically appeared without actually being in the national budget.

While it's true that the budget deficit (not the national deficit, that is still higher than the moon)is smaller now than in the past five years, that budget does not include this magical half trillion dollars that we spent on killing random Iraqis. So the real budget deficit is actually sky high and no end in sight. The figures that Dubya used are accounting tricks, like David Copperfield making a 747 disappear.

You are correct that Bush's new medical insurance plan is another tax increase on the middle class. What were you thinking? That Bush might actually tax the rich? The biggest tax increase in history is happening right now, under Bush, even as he stands on his podium screaming, "no new taxes!" I refer, of course, to the AMT. People like me, the middle class, are starting to get smacked with the AMT because it was never adjusted for inflation. So all of our deductions go away and we pay taxes like a bunch of Swedes, while the rich get to take their capital gains for free. Between Bush's tax increases and his theft of our civil rights through government spying, I am feeling damn oppressed these days.

Anyone who thinks the Republicans save you tax money is crazy. You heard, you're fools. You should kill yourselves for voting for Bush. Bush can't let Congress do away with the AMT or he loses billions in revenue and he'll HAVE to tax the rich. Not going to happen on his watch.

I do find it amusing that Bush is trying to distract us from Iraq with a bogus medical insurance plan. I hope he gets hammered the way his Party hammered Hillary for trying to fix the same problem. He just put a pork chop in his underwear and now he's tip toeing through the Pit Bull kennel. If you think Bush can fix the problem of health care with his new plan, you also think that the Mariners have fixed their pitching woes by signing Jeff Weaver.

I am surprised to find that you are attracted to Nancy Pelosi, Tracy. She is kind of hot for a grandma whose hobby is pimp slapping Republicans with firey rhetoric. I can't wait for the Hot Chicks of Congress calendar to hit the book stores.

Esther said...

That's a great recap of a speech I forgot to watch, again.

I usually read the State of the Union (skim, I mean). But this year I don't have to! I can just read your recap.

Tracy said...

Now for the record, I don't advocate suicide among Bush supporters - though voluntary castration could be a possibility...I'll get back to you.

I didn't say I was attracted to the Madame Speaker I only said she was attractive for her age and that she's an upgrade from Dennis Hastert. Saying I'm attracted to Pelosi is like saying I like Gary Locke because Mike Lowry was so awful...or something like that.