Turns out there's more going on out there than presidential politics. I sat down for a minute and decided to break down the news of the weekend according to good, bad, and ugly.
Miss Washington got 2nd runner-up in the Miss America Pageant. You have to understand that I've watched both Miss America and Miss USA for a long time and can put this in historical perspective. You usually had to quickly watch the beginning of the pageant to see Miss Washington and get a small glimpse of her in the introductory big dance number. Basically Miss Washington got as much face time as Ron Paul at a Fox News debate. Congrats Miss WA!
Ringo Starr walked off the Regis and Kelly show because he wouldn't shorten his song performance to less than 3 minutes. His offer to get it down to 3:45 wasn't good enough so he left. Good for Ringo. He was a Beatle after all.
The FCC has proposed a 1.4 million dollar fine against ABC because of a scene containing "nude buttocks." Sure, send our kids off to war to fight for the freedoms of others but do everything in your power to keep a naked ass from appearing on our televisions. I never saw the episode because I censored it myself and kept my TV off. I'd recommend it for you too.
Members of Philadelphia's Police narcotics division have complained that 'Ice Breakers' mints look too much like drugs. Bill Katzel an activist and retired medical administrator for the federal government said:
"A better solution would have been a total recall of this product."
A large U.S. spy satellite has lost power and could hit the Earth in late February or early March. Apparently it's the size of a bus and all of its contents are going to crash and burn. Sounds like Fred Thompson's campaign if ya ask me.