Sorry I didn't get you anything. I almost forgot about your birthday to be quite honest. Seems like we don't see you around much anymore. I don't want this to sound mean really so please try to understand the spirit of what I'm saying. We've kind of moved on.
Now sure, I know you're the law of the land and all that but aren't you really more symbolic than real these days? I mean you go on and on about enumerated powers and the protection of the individual at the expense of the collective but isn't that a little 19th Century?
We have really smart politicians who can fix things and they've promised not to abuse their power. I don't want to be a bummer on your birthday, because I really do like you. I'm just sayin' maybe you're not really that big of a deal anymore.
Happy Birthday anyway.