My run-in with a guy from the P-I

Today I went to the Puyallup Spring Fair. It's a springtime family even that is held about 50 miles south of where I live in a town called Puyallup (say PEW-AL-UP).

I came upon an exhibit for the Seattle P-I. If you've lived in this area the "P-I" is one of the two lame newspapers in this area more formally known as the Post-Intelligencer. It is owned by the Hearst Corporation. Though it's one of the northwest's oldest newspapers it hasn't been a viable newspaper since I was in elementary school. To explain it further they have a Joint Operating Agreement (JOA) with the Seattle Times (the other lame paper in town) which enables them to stay in business. This JOA is basically code for "we'll keep your irrelevant publication alive and barely breathing by taking over everything except your editorial board." The editorial board of the P-I is so left-of-center that it makes the New York Times board look like Fox News.



I love belittling the P-I at every chance I get. So when the guy at the booth asked me if I took the paper I just had to have a little fun. I told him I didn't and I couldn't believe what he said next:

"Are you against knowledge? Do you like being mediocre and not knowing what's going on in the world?" I was stunned. This guy wanted a war of wits and I was in a mood.

I said, "I thought the P-I only printed a paper on Tuesdays."

"That's my point you don't know much about what's going on in your community; we're a daily newspaper." He continued his lecture about how much smarter he is.

I said, "I thought you guys were bought out by the Seattle Weekly." I admit this was a cheapshot and was clearly intended to make fun of him. In fact the Seattle Weekly is a tabloid style weekly that covers mostly local issues from a socio/political opinion journal style and has its last several pages devoted to escort service ads.

"Well, there you go again, spouting your ignorance." The guy shot back.

Finally I told him I was joking because he got a bit out of control. I told him I knew they were owned by Hearst and pretty much everything I just shared with you in the first paragraph. I didn't see the need to press him since he was obviously agitated but this didn't stop the guy from insulting me more.

"Not taking the paper is like accepting you don't want to know what's going on in the world and you just want to settle on being ignorant everyday. Why would you want to live like that?"

I told him that it was that type of arrogance which is leading people to find other types of information sources and the very reason why he probably won't have a job in the next couple of years.

This is probably where it went bad.

"Come say to my face that I won't have a job next year!" He stood up. He's about six foot and large...I'd guess his genealogy traces to the Pacific Islands...don't know for sure...probably ignorance from not reading the P-I but anyway. Anyway he's bigger than me but he wouldn't be the biggest guy I've Sunday-punched out of necessity.

So I said to him, "Lucky you work for the paper you can start scanning the want-ads now." He pretty much berated me for the next three minutes while I asked for his business card which he wouldn't give me. I sent a few more cheapshots his way and he continued to call me stupid for not taking the paper.

I know his first name and I could call the newspaper and make a complaint about the unprofessional behavior of their employee but to be honest what's the point? Only Grump and a handful of other Puget Sound area people actually read the P-I and his behavior, while unbelievably stupid, is predictable and normal among lefty Seattleites. I don't claim to be a victim here...in any way...I meant to mess with him but before I could even get started he started insulting me because I told him I didn't take a newspaper. I was surprised at the level this guy was willing to escalate rhetoric (not to mention trying to physically intimidate me) when his job is to convince people to take a dying newspaper. Believe me when they print their last edition (which won't be too far into the future) I'll buy it and use it as toilet paper.

So there you have it. Some guy at the Seattle P-I thinks I'm ignorant because their useless newspaper doesn't land on my front porch every morning. Yeah, I'm the ignorant one.

Alec Baldwin's rant

Alec Baldwin calls his 11 or 12 year old daughter (apparently he wasn't sure which in the voicemail) and lets her have it. Apparently he has been trying to setup times to talk and she turns off her phone. He is pretty angry in the voice mail and does do some name calling (which made me feel uneasy) but more importantly he says he's going to fly out to where she is for the day to "straighten her out" which didn't sound violent at all but rather and angry parent wanting to do some parenting.

I know that he'll take a lot of crap for this angry call which was never meant for public consumption (after all, none of us are at our best when we're angry at family) but I'm glad he cares enough to do some parenting with some passion. He's a wealthy, famous celebrity who is divorced from his wealthy, famous, and hot ex-wife and is pissed when his kid doesn't show common courtesy and it hurts his feelings.

You'll probably never hear me defend Alec Baldwin again but I hope in this "everything is public" electronic age that this angry voicemail gone public doesn't stop Hollywood-types from straightening out their kids every once in awhile. Kids are stupid and they need it.

Important Reminder for Ron Paul Supporters

I've received a few emails that have demonstrated some of the confusion related to Paul's candidacy. I saw an announcement on Ron Paul's website that echo this. I'll try to add some clarity.

If you wish to support Ron Paul in his campaign for president then YOU MUST DO THIS WITHIN THE REPUBLICAN PRIMARY. I know many of you Libertarians are not used to primaries but you must understand that Ron Paul is running for the Republican nomination. This means you must support him now.

This may mean for some of you that you will need to vote in the Republican primary or (Like Me) attend a Republican caucus. This may mean finding out who the GOP presinct committee person is in your area and find out when or where your primary or caucus is. I know for myself attending a Republican caucus will not exactly be fun but I'm holding my nose and supporting the only candidate that supports liberty. So go be a lower-case L libertarian for an evening at your polling place or in the meeting place of your local caucus.

Ron has raised a great deal of money and has spoken in front of groups of hundreds at different campaign events in New Hampshire, Arizona and Iowa.

Personally I'm throwing my full support behind Ron Paul because he is far better than the current slate of candidates that are running on the LP ticket. My participation in the whole presidential contest will end when Ron Paul's candidacy ends. After that I'll probably write myself in.

Medicated Blog Post #5

I've never considered Imus shocking. He is sometimes provocative but he doesn't fall into the realm of shocking to me. Apparently the only thing that is fair game to make fun of are the sensibilities of evangelical Christians...mostly because the don't riot or sue.

Tree pollen sucks. I've got alder, birch, and some other tree behind my house just exploding pollen everywhere. I'm certain they're trying to kill me.

I was at a local store and I couldn't find the peanut butter. I eat peanut butter every morning. Turns out they keep it by the bread and jams. Makes sense as I look back on it.

Right now Grump is in Europe pissing off some gypsy. He'll come home with a curse...I'm sure of it. I hope it doesn't extend to me. This does remind me of a gypsy in France that I got on film while vacationing. I gave her some coins but in return she had to say, "I love America."

It's nice to see the different presidential candidates using Myspace like 14 year old girls. It's funny to see someone disclose that they're straight and looking to network with friends. It'd be funny to hack their profile and make Joe Biden bi-curious looking for love and more.

Canucks won game 1 of their playoff series with the Stars. I realize fully most of you don't care but the medicine compells me to inform you anyway.

I got my oil changed in my car...the attendant asked me if I wanted to use the same oil I used last time...I said, "No, I want new oil." He just looked at me with a blank stare.

I'm going to bed now.

Happy Easter

I'm not going to church as I'm allergic to lillies. Somehow people think they're festive. They make me as sick as can be.

To all of my Orthodox friends (both Roman, and Eastern) I wish a Happy Easter. To all the Evangelicals I know that visit this blog I wish a Happy Resurrection Sunday.

To the rest of you, enjoy Sunday.

-tracy

The Dumbass of Summer

In honor of opening day of baseball season I thought I'd share why Pete Rose deserves to be in the Hall of Fame...when they make a hall of fame for complete dumbasses.

Many people believe that Pete Rose should be in the baseball Hall of Fame but I couldn't disagree more. I've been told by people that the Hall of Fame is about what you do on the field, not off since there were plenty of bad guys in the Hall of Fame. I agree with this statement but there's one problem:

He bet on baseball.

Why is this a big deal? It's the ONLY rule you can break and be kicked out of the game. Ever since the 1919 World Series which resulted in eight players being banned from the game (remember Shoeless Joe Jackson and the movie Field of Dreams?) it has been against the rules to bet on baseball. In fact, posted on EVERY major league baseball clubhouse is a sign that explains what will happen if you bet on baseball.

The reason betting on baseball is wrong is that if someone in the game gets behind on gambling debts they can be forgiven a debt if they throw a game and give the person they owe a big pay off. It's easier to throw a game than it is to have your legs broken. The important part of the rule isn't just the betting, IT'S PRESERVING A FEELING THAT FANS OF THE GAME CAN BELIEVE THE OUTCOME IS REAL.

Everyone who plays baseball in the big leagues knows that betting on baseball will get your ass thrown out. Allow me to put it in better perspective.

Evidence came out that Pete Rose bet on baseball because he had a gambling habit that was in excess of $10,000 a day. He was suspended and came before the commissioner of baseball. At the meeting he denied betting on baseball. At this same meeting they had a sealed envelope of evidence...they told Pete they would either open it up and let the press see it or keep it sealed and he could agree to being banned from baseball with a chance to appeal in one year. Amazingly Pete who said he NEVER bet on baseball took the ban. His appeals since have not been heard because everyone knows he's a liar.

Pete continued to deny that he bet on baseball up until a few years ago but now says that he bet for his team rather than against it. Do I believe him? Actually I do but it doesn't matter to me and here is why:

Pete Rose bet on baseball at a time when baseball wasn't doing so well. This was before the park renovations and the revived interest in the game. Many articles in national sports magazines were talking about the passing of America's pastime. So at a time when baseball as a game was not doing well, Pete bets on the game. The very game that gave Pete Rose wealth was being repaid by his betting. When this came to light those in charge had no choice but to throw him out to keep their game legitimate. The banning of Pete Rose from baseball and its Hall of Fame sends a message to every current player of the game. In return fans are enjoying a resurgence in the game's popularity because they believe that the outcome is probably real. (For the Seattle Mariners real = bad)

When they open up the Complete Dumbass Hall of Fame (it'll probably be in Oregon somewhere) then I will support Pete Rose's induction on the first ballot.

Pete Rose - The Dumbass of Summer.

A word about this week

My job has taken me off to an undisclosed location so obscure that even Dick Cheney has never been there. I will not return to a normal schedule until Friday so look for a post then.

Because baseball season is just around the corner, here are some subjects I'm toying with:

1. Pete Rose deserves to be in the Hall of Fame....when they make a Hall of Fame for complete dumbasses.

2. Fenway Park is a joke and should be torn down.

3. Which Presidential Candidate is the equivalent of the Seattle Mariners.

We'll be blogging atcha later.

St. Patrick's Day (post #2)

Today I'm headed into the big city (Seattle) to watch the St. Patrick's Day parade. For dinner I'm having Corned Beef (I know it's not technically not Irish) and potatoes...washed down by a bottle of Smithwick's.

I think learning the right lessons from one's heritage is important. Every heritage is filled with things to celebrate and things to abhor and the Irish are no exception. My own family came to North America not because of poverty and famine but rather to embrace an opportunity to leave the strife caused by being Protestant Irish...just to live in Canada. To think living in Canada is an upgrade, you'd have to be pretty bad off.

The lessons I learn from being Irish are...know when you're on a sinking ship and go find a better opportunity...even if it's Canada.

Presidential Candidate Anagrams

...and their secret meanings:

Barak Hussein Obama - MARIHUANA AS KEBOBS (High times for Obama)

Bill Richardson - BRR CHILL DO A SIN (A cold man lacking moral authority)

Hillary Clinton - ONLY I CAN THRILL (Enlisted Grump's help on this one)

Albert Gore - BAR TREE LOG - (Tree hugger is against logging)

Joe Biden - I NEED JOB - (Enough said)

Ralph Nader - HARDER PLAN (...for America to swallow.)

Mitt Romney - OMIT MY RENT (for low cost housing)

Rudy Guliani - URINAL ID GUY (Makes the National ID card seem small)

Congressman Ron Paul - CALMER GUN ON ASS PORN (Typical libertarian soft on porn)

Senator John McCain - JOINS A MERCHANT CON (involved in corporate fraud?)

Dennis Kucinich - NUDE CHIC IN SINK (He has a kinky side)

Speaker Newt Gingrich - A CHEEKING TWERP GRINS (This one is almost good)

Tommy Thompson - THY MOM MOP SNOT (He insulted your mother!)

and finally...

Chuck Nagel - LAUGH CHECK (True enough)

Movies that have shaped my life

I've always loved movies. Living in a small town that had no movie theater my only exposure to movies was from school or television. I remember staying after school to watch Dumbo in the gym. I paid one dollar (in pennies) and sat quietly eating a bag of popcorn. My sister was seven years older than me and she usually recommended movies to me.

I've seen hundreds of movies but only a few can be responsible for shaping my life. These movies aren't necessarily my favorites...this is not a 'my favorite movies' post. If there are any that made an impact on you, I'd like to hear.

Animal House (1978)-

What I learned from Animal House is that pretty girls will pretend not to like you when they're with their friends but if you can get them away from their stuck up friends and add alcohol to the mix...you've got yourself a good time. Another message is that it is fun to take your creative energy and ruin parades. This is a must see film.

American Graffiti (1973)-

This is a Lucas film that didn't suck. It also is a groundbreaking film for several big stars...but you can read about that on any two-bit movie website. What this movie taught me is that staying out all night and driving fast cars was fun. The greater impact it made on me was learning about moving on in life and making adult decisions. This movie made me think about all the losers that had left high school only to hang around our small town amounting to nothing. Countless 19 and 20 year olds died in car accidents in the area I lived because they never grew up. This movie also set the stage for Happy Days which was one of my all-time favorite shows. (at least the first 3 seasons)

Bad News Bears (1976)-

This isn't a kids movie. If you want a safer kids version watch The Mighty Ducks. I'm not just saying that...the Mighty Ducks is the exact same movie except cleaned up a bit. I've seen the recent remake and I don't hate it but it lacks the 'this is so wrong' feeling of the original. My favorite part was the ending where after losing the championship the entire team of 10 year olds celebrates with beers. Once more after gaining the respect of their arch-rivals (who win the championship) the Bad News Bears tell them to stick the trophy up their asses. Go to some bargain bin of DVD's and get this one for 7 bucks. I did.

King Kong (1976)-

As a kid this movie had everything I wanted: Full-color action of a giant gorilla that lived on a mysterious island. As a teenager I liked it because it spoke to the part of every red-blooded boy that wondered what it would be like to have a young Jessica Lange in the palm of your hand. The movie by today's standards is almost unwatchable (as most 70's movies are) but the most important elements of this movie are still in play and Jessica was central to it all.


Shadowlands (1993)-

I must confess this would be in my favorites as well. I love this movie and I love the story. The movie has never ceased to bring a tear to my eye. I love the expressions of faith and love that linger through the movie and provide the backbone of hope in what is an inspiring though profoundly sad story. As someone who has helped a few people in my life deal with loss, I try not to hold myself back from investing myself emotionally to people in need.

All of these movies may equal the total story of my life thus far. A kid who drinks beer and plays on a terrible baseball team causing trouble only to be a teenager that causes trouble and drives fast cars then joins a zoo fraternity and flunks out of college...then uses his creative energy to ruin a parade...and later becomes a giant gorilla and uses pretty women as play things only to be transformed by gestures of love and faith. Yup, that's me in a nutshell.

Any movies impact any of you?

Medicated Blog Post #4

By now you should be used to these. One or two times a year I keep snot from running down my face by loading up on cold medicine. Aside from stopping the free flow of mucus, the following thoughts result.

The CPAC conference shows how ugly conservatism is when it loses it's libertarian leanings...don't worry...the left is just as ugly.

The Seattle Mariners are in Spring Training. I can tell it's Spring with the scent of disappointment already in the air.

Went to a local Harley Davidson place. The era of the motorcycle outlaw drifter dude is over. Most of their bikes cost more than my car and their parking lot had several Mercedes and a few Lexus...what is plural form of Lexus?....Lexuses? Ugh. Anyway...if a local motorcycle gang comes rolling into your town chances are there is a wine tasting event going on. Posers.

Haven't heard from the Pope lately. I thought he was supposed to be a controversial pope...now he's as silent as an Orthodox patriarch.

I was thinking this morning how much I like Pete Townshend's one-note guitar solos. Magical.

The movie 'Fly Boys' was terrible. I did however like watching all of the World War I dogfighting...the rest of the movie was ass.

ABC News

Why do I bother watching TV at all? I came home and turned the stereo on and accidently set it to the sound of the television. This is where I heard the story about the General who was in charge of Walter Reed Hospital was relieved of his command. I turned on the television and saw that it was in pretty sad shape. I saw mold on the walls and whatever...stuff you'd half-expect from a military hospital if you're cycnical like me.

But what I saw next was even more shocking:

Problems at the facility have caused public outrage and prompted 2008 presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., to offer a bill today that aims to resolve the site's problems.

"That can't be the proper response, silencing and punishing our injured soldiers for trying to get the mold off their walls," Obama said.

Isn't that great of Barak Obama to suddenly come out with a bill that is against mold in military hospitals...coincidently timed with a news story? Like this is news? ABC just made an in-kind contribution to the Obama campaign without knowing it.

What incredible leadership it shows to come out against mold. Maybe Senator Obama could sit down and debate the pro-mold candidate so America can truly decide.

What a tool. Get out and support Ron Paul and give up supporting these self-serving chumps like the good senator from Illinois.

Elitists who "protect" the environment

When I was in 6th grade we had mandatory Ecology education. It was part of a Federal program that began in the Carter administration. Back then the thought was that our western lifestyle of over-consumption was going to bring on the next ice age. The curriculum produced incredible evidence that persuaded me to go home and convince my parents to stop using spray-on deodorant. After all, it was to save the earth.

I did not throw away everything they taught me in that ecology awareness class because it did emphasize how wasteful we can be. It helped me notice things like over packaging, recyclable materials, and leaving a smaller footprint around me. To this day I clean up litter whenever I see it and look for ways to reduce my garbage output. It is a personal mission of mine that feels right with my conscience.

What really annoys me though is that Hollywood elitists and even Al Gore preach the Gospel of Environmental Correctness only to be complete hypocrites. I remember Barbra Streisand put out a message on her website indicating that people should hang their sheets and clothes out to dry on lines rather than use their electric clothes dryer. All this while it was reported that she has a penthouse condo in New York City that used a climate control thermostat that kept it at a cool 60 degrees even while no one was staying there.

Similarly Al Gore's mansion uses tons of electricity and has been reported to be using 20 times the national average. Al Gore said at the Academy Awards that saving the environment is something we all could do and "wasn't very hard." Well I can see for him it isn't very hard.

What is funny about these elitists is they use a 15th Century method of excusing themselves from actually having to do anything meaningful for the environment. They buy what are called "carbon credits" where they pay for excess emissions that they use so that someone else can save the environment where they can't. In the middle-ages the Roman Catholic Church called this practice "indulgences." What was a complete lie back then, is a complete lie now.

I'm not going to pay someone else to do what my conscience tells me is the right thing to do. I am not going to ask someone else to do something that I'm not willing to do myself.

I personally do a number of things that are considered 'green' even though I know their impact is negligible. I routinely recycle and purposely buy things that use packaging that isn't wasteful. I commute on a motorcycle when the weather allows specifically to get 60mpg saving me money and using less gasoline. I drive a car with an 'ultra-low emissions vehicle' rating. My household consumes on average the equivalent of 10 gallons of garbage in a week. My personal goal is simply to reduce my consumption in an effort to not be wasteful.

Do I think I'm making an impact? I don't care if I am personally making an impact, it feels right for me to do it because I don't like being wasteful. Could I do more? Sure, but I'll evaluate that over time and act according to my own volition.

I don't believe global hysteria. Also, I don't listen to anything that some elitist blowhard says about our environment or the planet. In fact I'd be glad to take some of their money to 'off-set' their wastefulness. Email me if you'd like to buy an indulgence and I'll tell you where to send the money.

Ballot Access

While high-profile Republicans and Democrats are enjoying the media spotlight for a chance at an '08 nomination to their respective parties there are some things going on you don't know about.

I've often been asked why Libertarians have such a hard time getting elected to national office or don't have much financial support. One big reason is that Republicans and Democrats do not have to play by the same rules.

Currently Libertarians are working to collect a total of 787,945 signatures meeting different state conditions to get ballot access in every state of the nation. The LP is in court in two states whose laws have made it nearly impossible to get ballot access at all for anyone who is not a Republican or Democrat. In many states where the ballot access requirements are met it is against the law for a candidate to identify himself as anything but a Republican, Democrat, or Independent. I remember Harry Browne discussing how when he voted for himself in his home state of Tennessee he appeared next to the Socialist Workers party candidate and they were both listed as Independents.

Even with these sometimes impossible odds the Libertarian party has been the only third party to put a Presidential Candidate on the ballot in all 50 states (plus DC) in the last four general elections. (except for Oklahoma in '04 because changes in their laws made it impossible to get ballot access unless you had an R or a D by your name.)

So while the media is gawking at Obama and Hillary and following Romney and Guliani around, know that thousands of Libertarians are spending tens of thousands on court fees and signature gathering simply to get on the same ballot that Republicans and Democrats get on for free.

More Gay Blogging

I'll give you a real life scenario. Trust me this is real life, not hypothetical.

A man and woman have been together for about 17 years and engaged for 10.

In the last year the woman has undergone several medical treatments and has now been diagnosed with a form of cancer. More treatments are coming this year. Her medical flex account is used up and now big dollars are going to be required for her care.

The man knew he needed to get her on his medical insurance and the easiest way to do it was to get married. He lamented briefly that it wasn't the way he ever wanted to do it but at this point there was no other choice. They will get married soon to remedy the insurance situation.

Who wouldn't do this if they had the choice?

If I took this same scenario and made it two men, would it make a difference to you? I'm not telling which scenario is true for the sake of discussion.

I've often proposed that government should not be in the business of granting the right to marry. Personally I'd turn ALL unions into civil unions. Once more I'd open the floodgates for all types of civil unions.

My Grandmother and her sister lived together for several decades until the end of their lives. I honestly believe my grandmother could have benefited from a civil union that would've allowed their unique relationship to have the status of a family household with all of its benefits. I'm also demonstrating in Libertarian terms how reducing the role of government in this case can ensure legal equality.

I honestly don't know what would protect the sanctity of marriage but I can't bring myself to believe that any of these scenarios would hurt it.

Commenting on Gay Basketball Players

"You're a homophobe."

This comment is a tactic used by people against anyone who says something negative about a homosexual. The tactic has worked because it's one thing not to like gay people but to be portrayed as being afraid of them isn't tolerable.

The argument usually ends up with, "People who are homophobic are usually just trying to cover up for their own homosexual feelings." Hence this logic means that if you're afraid of something it's because you want to be that thing you're afraid of. Personally I'm afraid of Pirates, Leprechauns, Gypsies and snakes. Deep down inside I want to be all of these things but because I can't be I must bash them in my private thoughts because I'm a coward...unlike Mr. Hardaway.

Tim Hardaway sidestepped the whole matter in one sentence which I'll quote:

"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people," he said. "I'm homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

I personally think it's wrong to make fun of people because of their fears. Tim Hardaway is a strong and athletic man having been a former NBA star but he suffers from an acute fear of homosexuals. It may seem silly to many of us who feel very natural and comfortable around homos but this is the nature of fear. It isn't easily understood by people who do not have it.

As a Seattle SuperSonic fan since the 70's I'm accustomed to gay basketball players. Jack Sikma, Tom Chambers, Dale Ellis, and scores of other courageous gay athletes have donned the green and gold. I've recently overheard many Sonics fans nonchalantly proclaim, "This team is so gay." and "...another gay season down the drain." We simply take it for granted. No group of fans in any other part of the world understands gay basketball quite like Seattle Supersonic fans do. We cheer for them and celebrate their courage.

I once knew a guy who was a normal upstanding individual that was afraid of spiders. His fear was irrational and silly for a man of his size to be afraid of something so small but his fear was real. It would've been cruel to single him out because of something he wasn't able to cope with.

I'm glad that Tim Hardaway came out of the closet and admitted a fear that he has. Tim Hardaway is a Homophobic-American and deserves our respect for his courage to admit it.

Barak Obama

I've received two dozen emails from people asking me about Obama over the last two months. People who have said, "He seems like a guy you'd support."

Barak Obama is not worthy of my support. I'm not sure I'd support him for local school board frankly. So here is my official opinion of Barak Obama:

I don't care.

Two people emailed me and asked what I thought of Mitt Romney. I have a slightly different opinion of Romney obviously. Here is my opinion of Mitt:

I really don't care.

So far I support Governor Richardson and Ron Paul until Harry Browne comes back from the grave and files for an '08 run. I'll keep you all posted if that happens.

Lloyd Elton Green

Today would've been my father's 87th birthday. He died 10 years ago on my birthday.

My dad's life was filled with missed opportunities, sacrifice and bad timing. All his life he was burdened with a terrible allergy to money. I can say that every year I get older, my dad gets smarter.

My father was kicked out of public high school and was put in Catholic Prepatory school in Tacoma. I recall him telling me he was one of only a handful of non-catholics in the school. He began to accel academically and took interest in the ROTC program at the school. During high school he learned to weld and enjoyed it though he never saw himself cut out for blue-collar work. He was gifted in math and science and enrolled in the University of Washington taking pre-med. While in school he began taking flight lessons. This in a nutshell was my dad...a man with scattered interests.

World War II came and all flight hours for civillian use were cancelled so he was not able to finish getting his pilot's license. My dad was then drafted while in school. He hadn't taken enough credits yet to get out of being in the Army though he got out anyway because he had what was considered to be an important civillian skill...welding.

On an interesting side story my dad belonged to a community theater and was the leader of a popular big band jazz group that played with alot of great musicians. He later took me to see Count Basie, Buddy Rich and Stan Kenton and others eventually meeting musicians my dad played with. My dad was a particularly talented drummer.

So he missed out on studying to be a doctor and never got his pilot's license. Because of the war he began welding in the shipyards and then finally for Hanford where fuel for the first atomic bomb was being created.

After that he worked in radio as an on-air personality in several small stations until he was hired at AM1090 in Seattle. He was finally doing something he enjoyed for a relatively popular radio station in a large media market. A dispute with a manager eventually led to my dad telling him to 'stick it' and he quit. At this point in his life he went to Alaska and worked.

The next years are a mystery to me personally. My two half-sisters were born and he went through two marriages. I know nothing of this time except to know that he said he owned two houses and lived in neither. My dad worked hard but would always shun prosperity.

Eventually he took his driving experience from Alaska and began driving a transit bus in Seattle. This is where he eventually met my mom. They were married 47 years.

They eventually moved to a rural area and bought 10 acres that had a shack on it. This shack and electrical wiring from the 1920's and no indoor plumbing. This is the house in which I grew up. We lived on that property until I was 18.

My father never retired. He worked at his job in Seattle until he was 76. He had a new boss that he had a hard time working with. One day when he was tired of putting up with his manager's bullshit he told her so...then just quit. He was battling cancer as it was and was growing more and more tired. One day it just became clear what it was he was willing to put up with.

I don't want to overhype my dad. At times he was only a marginal father figure and my brother and sisters likely do not look at him the same way I do. My father and I were very similar in many ways so my understanding of him is something my siblings may probably never understand.

From my dad's life and wisdom I've learned some important lessons:

Living free is more important than having money.

You can tell your manager to stick it and walk away from any job if you're willing to live with what's next. (I've quit two jobs using that exact tactic)

Sometimes you can't do everything you want because other people depend on you.

Happy Birthday Dad.

V for Vendetta

February is pretty much the last winter month in Western Washington State. March pretends to act like spring but it just continues to rain though it's warmer and there is much more daylight. Because of these short days and the overcast skies I find myself drawn more to television as a pasttime. This is a particularly big deal to me as I tend to watch about one hour of television a month. I even find myself listening to local sports games on the radio.


I rented V for Vendetta starring Natalie Portman and liked the movie even more than I could've imagined. I was told by some local libertarians that it was a great libertarian film, and I have to agree. Think of the movie as a cross between Batman and Spider-Man except it makes you think. Go get it now and thank me later.

Disclaimer: It has violence and harsh language. It is not a movie for kids. Also, Natalie Portman's head gets shaved...that may freak some of you out...it did me.

Primary Endorsements

I've conceded long ago that the next president will not be someone I supported or voted for. I'm willing to let the rest of you elect the next moron to take up a chair in the oval office. Because 90%+ of the folks that read this blog are supporters of either the Democrat Party or the GOP, I thought I'd give some early endorsements. I realize fully that my nod in their direction will doom their campaign forever...but here it goes.

Democrat: Governor Bill Richardson



Honestly if either of the last two governors of New Mexico had run for president I would've voted for either of them. I know of no other state in our great land that has a better gubernatorial pedigree. Richardson balanced the budget in the state while lowering taxes. He is a problem solver that understands that every problem cannot be solved by government. He is an old-time Democrat and one that deserves your support if you lean that way.

Republican: Congressman Ron Paul



Ron Paul is not your average Republican. He is at odds with the GOP on many major issues and is a principled leader in congress...respected and hated by members of both parties. Ron Paul finished 3rd in the 1988 presidential race and has served nine terms in Congress. He is for limited government and votes his beliefs in congress. If you're a true limited government Republican there is really nowhere else to look.

There you have it. In the most pragmatic way possible I've put two choices out there. Now don't give me any of your 'they have no chance of winning' crap because this IS THE PRIMARIES. This is how you shape the ideals of your party. You don't have to support a winner in the primaries. Paul Tsongas lost but shaped Bill Clinton. Patrick Buchanan made George H W Bush remember his conservative base. If you all give up your principles in the primaries then there is truly no hope.

Hillary opens her mouth

"We expect him to extricate our country from this before he leaves office" in January 2009, the former first lady said.

Hillary's opinion is that the War in Iraq is something that the president should have all over with by the time the next president rolls into office.

Probably just like these examples:

Like how Truman ended the Korean War before Ike took office.

Like how LBJ ended the Vietnam War before Nixon took office.

Like how Clinton (and his lacky Carter) made sure that North Korea would only be using their nuclear power for peaceful purposes and no other president would see them as a threat...not to mention an energy crisis that most people have forgotten that it started during the Clinton administration (even Governor Richardson the former energy secretary said Clinton's lack of vision for an energy policy has cost this nation dearly)

Of course what I'm pointing out is that every president has to deal with the good and bad left by their predecessors. It's reality... so quit being dumb.

Hillary, if somehow hell freezes over and you're elected president I hope that Bush leaves a fresh one in the oval office toilet for you.

State of the Union

I opened no less than four emails from people asking me to blog on the State of the Union. Not to mention Grump reminded me via instant messenger. I'm having a hard time knowing where to begin. I'll give you some background on me and the State of the Union speeches.

I've watched every State of the Union speech since Ronald Reagan was president. Hell, I even watched a couple of Jimmy Carter's. One thing I do like about the speech is that it is usually a fairly positive view of our nation complete with an overstatement of our accomplishments, understatement of any problems and an exaggeration of problems that don't really exist.

First the overstated accomplishments:

The economy statement that 'inflation is low' - It is fairly low right now but it is on skakey ground. This is the fault of both parties using a monetary policy that is doomed for failure.

On pace to retire the defecit in five years. - The deficit now is 172 billion dollars. This is actually fairly low compared to deficits of former administrations and is directly attributed to the economy. When it gets this low raising taxes can actually make a difference. If the deficit becomes a campaign plank in 2008 then expect a tax increase in 2009 no matter who is president. Personally, I could eliminate the deficit in six months...congress won't do it however.

Woman Speaker of the House - This gets a collective 'big deal' from me but she is a rather attractive woman for her age. She's far better looking than Dennis Hastert. You can tell how seriously I take this speech.

Understatement of problems:

Iraq - Only when Iraqis begin fighting and defeating the foreign fighters in their land will this ever turn more optimistic. My bet is we'll have a troop presence in Iraq ten years from now.

Earmarks - I loved their standing ovation for a call to end the practice of earmarks. Today I'm standing boldly to call for an end of diarrhea. (insert applause here)

Targeted tax breaks will help people who can't afford medical coverage - Dumb plan. Dumb plan. Dumb plan. I don't even know where to begin. This is a middle-class tax increase in disguise.

Exaggerations of problems that don't exist:

The need for bipartisanship - If you ask me I just want them to fight and fight and fight. Fight so much you don't even have time to solve my problems. Get fighting!

Eliminating the deficit - Why bother? When as bold as you can get is to balance the budget in five years I'm just not going to take this seriously at all. The defecit should be eliminated now. We should stop the practice of selling off debt to other nations who are temporarily devaluing their currency for a preferred trade status.

Greatest moment:

The guy who rescued that person on the NYC subway. It's good of someone in that room to have some balls and take a risk for the benefit of other people. He was the only person in that room that I trust...except Ron Paul.

There you have it...an uninspired recap of an uninspiring moment in the history of our nation.

Why the Faith-Based & Community Initiatives is wrong

I'll begin by taking Dubya's quote from their website:

"The paramount goal is compassionate results, and private and charitable groups, including religious ones, should have the fullest opportunity permitted by law to compete on a level playing field, so long as they achieve valid public purposes, like curbing crime, conquering addiction, strengthening families, and overcoming poverty."

- President George W. Bush

Many are going to take a Secular versus Religious outlook on this but I won't. In fact I'll begin by eliminating that factor from my point of view with my own statement:

I do not believe that giving Federal Money to a Mormon organization to help someone get off a meth addiction is the same thing as an establishment of religion.

That said I don't think anyone should be 'competing' for Federal dollars. I've seen first hand what this does to schools and I can tell you that it doesn't improve anything, but rather makes it worse. I know you think this is the Libertarian in me speaking but it's not. It is the common sense part of me talking. (not to say that being a libertarian isn't common sense...in many ways it is but I digress)

Too many times when Federal money is sought after there are rules that must go along with it. Not just the rules but also the infrastructure necessary to qualify for the Federal funds to begin with. Trust me on this one. I won't disclose what I do for a living but I can tell you that I see state agency budgets everyday. Even though I am not a public employee, I know what it is to work in the real world and then see a snapshot of what substitutes for logic once an agency is spending public funds.

Government money is taken by force. Behind this force is a bureau of administrators. By contrast behind almost every Faith-Based organization are people who give their time, resources and talents to help people knowing that the task is greater than themselves.

Another distinction is worthy of note: A faith-based organization is free to exercise their faith and their own polity. That's a fancy way of saying that if they want to give a ten minute sermon before they serve soup and sandwiches then they may. I'm here to tell you that is in jeopardy once Federal funds enter the mix. You will be told that it will not, but logically it must.

Good charities don't need more money, generally they need more volunteers. I have several charities and Organizations that I routinely give money and time to. It is my freedom to do so. I'm not motivated by a fear of the afterlife but instead a grace that enables me to do it purely in love. There is no force involved and because of that I believe it makes a difference.

I think all Faith-Based organizations should just take the Hillsdale College approach and say "Thanks, but no thanks" to Federal Money.

Ron Paul in 2008?

I've not been able to fully verify this but...today, incorporation papers were filed in Texas for a Ron Paul 2008 presidential exploratory committee that would enable him to begin raising money.

Rumors are swelling at the news of this but one of those that is most intriguing is that Ron Paul's intention is to form a GOP/Libertarian/Constitution fusion endorsement run. Since members of those three parties can't get along in the same room it would be interesting to see if this were possible.

If Ron Paul is on the November ballot it will give me the chance to correct a vote I placed back in 1988 for George H.W. Bush. Had I understood that year that the GOP did not represent my views then Ron Paul would've received my vote on top of the 400,000+ others he earned.

If Ron is in fact running then voting for him would break three of my own rules for candidates for president:

1. Texans should not be allowed to run.

2. I'd have to technically vote for a Republican.

3. I never trust anyone with two first names.

So I'm a hypocrite. I'd support him in a heartbeat.

There's hope with the new Congress

I was just reading on the newswire that there is finally good news for women. Now that there is a multimillionaire woman as Speaker of the House of Representatives women all over the country are taking a bit step forward. I congratulated my boss (who is a member of the persecuted women class) on the amazing step forward she and her persecuted sisterhood have made.

Anyway, Speaker Pelosi promised bipartisanship and cooperation so I can only hope that she's lying. With all due respect Madam Speaker I'd like less bipartisanship and cooperation with how you all intend to spend the money you take by force from my paycheck. I'd appreciate some bitter partisanship and perhaps some good old fashioned gridlock. That's really all I ask from you because I know that as a millionaire woman you understand what I really want from my government. You alone understand the constitution and complicated things like the minimum wage while all I know how to do is look to you for help because I'm unable to function intelligently in a free society without your direction.

I have hope for this Congress still. Bring on the gridlock.

How I rang in the new year

I didn't go out on New Year's this year. Personally I don't really enjoy parties that much so if I say no enough times eventually people quit inviting me. In addition to that I've dealt with the deaths of three people in the last three years as a result of drugs and/or alcohol and a motor vehicle. Staying home was just fine with me.

Instead I watched the Da Vinci code. I popped it in around 9:30 and tried to stay with it. I won't review the movie but instead just make a few observations:

1. The movie needed no big names in it. Tom Hanks was wasted in this 'treasure hunt' style of movie. All he did was figure out some clue and move on to the next clue. Basically it was like watching Blues Clues without the cute blue dog. Serious actors need not apply.

2. The movie was too long. Damn, maybe about two hours too long. It ended around 12:30am and I was not lost on the irony that I started the movie in 2006 and finished watching it in 2007. It felt like an entire year had past.

I got out some Sparkling Cider but didn't open it...pretty much just forgot about it. I'm not posting any resolutions this year. I've done well on mine from previous years but I've yet to come up with what they are...or at least I'm not willing to admit them.

Anyway, let's rip it up in 2007 and I promise to get to blogging your faces off this year. Whatever that means.

Gerald Ford

Gerald Ford was the first president I ever voted for. In the Fall of 1976 I cast my vote for Gerald Ford in Mrs. Hanold's 2nd grade room. Many things have changed in my life since though as a 2nd grader I still agree with my childish, yet wise assessment that voting for Jimmy Carter was foolish. History proved me right.

Gerald Ford for the most part kept his mouth shut during the terms of subsequent presidents. Though he was quiet he was always willing to give his own party advice about finding common ground with cooperative bi-partisanship. In the last 10 years Gerald Ford continued to warn the GOP of embracing the religious right and often scolded the GOP about those that mention God freely in the political arena. I always found his claim to be empty of conviction because I remember him as a president and I pay attention to what people say. Here is Ford's speech that he gave as he pardoned Richard Nixon:

Ladies and gentlemen:

I have come to a decision which I felt I should tell you and all of my fellow American citizens, as soon as I was certain in my own mind and in my own conscience that it is the right thing to do.

I have learned already in this office that the difficult decisions always come to this desk. I must admit that many of them do not look at all the same as the hypothetical questions that I have answered freely and perhaps too fast on previous occasions.

My customary policy is to try and get all the facts and to consider the opinions of my countrymen and to take counsel with my most valued friends. But these seldom agree, and in the end, the decision is mine. To procrastinate, to agonize, and to wait for a more favorable turn of events that may never come or more compelling external pressures that may as well be wrong as right, is itself a decision of sorts and a weak and potentially dangerous course for a President to follow.

I have promised to uphold the Constitution, to do what is right as God gives me to see the right, and to do the very best that I can for America.

I have asked your help and your prayers, not only when I became President but many times since. The Constitution is the supreme law of our land and it governs our actions as citizens. Only the laws of God, which govern our consciences, are superior to it.

As we are a nation under God, so I am sworn to uphold our laws with the help of God. And I have sought such guidance and searched my own conscience with special diligence to determine the right thing for me to do with respect to my predecessor in this place, Richard Nixon, and his loyal wife and family.

This is Gerald Ford mentioning God more times in one speech than most presidents do at their annual prayer breakfast. Also, keep in mind that the role of this speech was to convinced Democrats (especially those in the South) that he was doing the right thing. My how times have changed.

The one thing I'll always admire about Gerald Ford was that it was through his experience that I saw how media changed things. Even as a young boy I knew that the media portrayed him as a bumbling, clumsy man. The reality was that he was a man of great conviction who came out of extreme poverty. He had an alcoholic father that impacted his life so much that he and his wife have treated those bound by addiction. He was perhaps the greatest athlete to ever become president. I watched the 1978 Rose Bowl where my beloved Washington Huskies were playing Michigan. Gerald Ford was in the stands rooting for Michigan. My dad told me he was a football player for Michigan on their 1932 National Championship team and in 1934 was their most valuable player.

To the media Gerald Ford was a bumbling fool who stumbled into the White House and with the stroke of a pen denied them the red meat they desired so much. Ford prevented them from watching over an opportunity to see Nixon torn apart in a trial. (same media that has largely ignored Saddam's trial but I digress) It was for this reason really that the country did end up turning to a true bumbling fool of a peanut farmer from Georgia.

By the way, Ford won in a landslide in my 2nd grade class. Carter only got one vote and I even argued that the vote shouldn't have counted because it was from a kid in another class. If you have any seven year olds at home and they act like this...beware this is how they become libertarians.

May God Bless Gerald Ford and his famly.

Merry Christmas

I'm happiest in the Christmas time when I just ignore the entire season until December 18th. I don't listen to Christmas music, I don't shop, and I don't stress or worry about anything. Actually I seldom even plan for anything that will follow up until that point. Besides, with my family planning doesn't help anyway.

For two years in a row I've tried to have my entire family over to my house for Christmas. In year's past I've been to everyone's house who hosted Christmas. I even had to do split Christmas duty and spend the whole holiday driving all over the place just to make it everywhere. Now that I have a house I will have hosted the last two Christmas gatherings only hardly anyone shows up for various reasons. Mostly they'd rather just not bother. I used to be irritated by this but now I see it as a blessing because I don't have to do as much.

It's at these times people tell me to remember what Christmas is really all about, but with all due respect to Linus I think I'll just keep Christmas a secular holiday for me.

This is what I love about Christmas time:

Girls in sweaters
Christmas lights (especially blue)
Handel's Messiah
Holiday TV Specials (Rudolph and Charlie Brown are my favorite)
Getting Christmas cards when people actually write something in them.

Things during Christmas I could do without:

Christmas Cards where you just sign your name. Don't bother.
Any variation of the 12 Days of Christmas where someone thinks they can make it funny by changing the words. Stop it. No one cares?
Lame nativity plays
So-called Christmas stories where most of the Biblical accounts are wrong.
Family Stress.
Bad Gravy.

Have a Merry Christmas to all.

Immigrant Hero? Wrong again liberal media!

In Arlington Virginia Jaimen Ortiz rescued a toddler who fell from a second story window. MSNBC's article reports that Ortiz "hopped a fence and ran to the apartment building....put out his arms and caught her cleanly, perhaps saving her life..."

As you can see this man who is reported to be from Guatamala is probably used to hopping fences. So the media portrays him as a hero even though he has not bothered to learn English as the article continues, "If I had delayed one more second, she would have fallen to the ground," Ortiz said through a Spanish interpreter..."

How long will this country and the liberal media continue to portray Illegals such as Jaimen Ortiz as heroes while they continue to hop fences and thumb their nose at the beloved language of our nation?

Mr. Ortiz needs to be deported as he is obviously ruining our country.

Christmas Trees at our dumb airport

I'm amazed that the whole country has been talking about what happened at our little Seattle Tacoma International Airport. The Port of Seattle decided to remove Christmas trees from the airport because a local Rabbi threatened a lawsuit. I don't take sides in this because what happened is more of a commentary on how stupid religious symbols have become. Here are some facts about what happened:

1. The Rabbi didn't want the Christmas trees to come down but he was frustrated because the Port of Seattle ignored his request for awhile to place a Menorah as part of the seasonal display. For whatever reason they only responded to his correspondence when a lawyer representing the Rabbi's group pointed out that the law was not on the side of the Port.

2. The Port of Seattle realized that their biggest vulnerability was not having a policy regarding decorations. Because a policy wasn't in place it would just appear that they put up trees and decorated them in the month of December without giving it much thought...just like normal people.

3. The Christmas Tree is not a religious symbol but the Menorah is.

4. The Rabbi regrets threatening a lawsuit but wonders openly why it took the possibility of a lawsuit to get the attention of the Port of Seattle. I wonder this too.

5. It's funny that outspoken non-Christians are hung up about the Christmas tree while at the same time many Christians I know feel that the secularized celebration of Christmas is distracting from the true religious components of the holiday. They even have a slogan: "Remember the Reason for the Season."

6. Christmas is more of a cultural holiday than anything else. I don't know any non-Jews that celebrate Hannakah, but I know scores of non-Christians who celebrate Christmas and have a Christmas tree.

7. Christmas is a national holiday.

I'm done with the facts for now. I think the Port of Seattle did the right thing. It took this extreme act to show just how dumb this had all become. In Seattle we're used to this type of thing going on all the time but the outcome usually never ends the way anyone wants it. Not this time however, the trees are going back up and with the blessing of the Rabbi. I'd like to think this is a sign that we totally haven't lost our minds.

This is how Democrats can win the White House

Governor Bill Richardson just opted in for a White House run. I stand by what I'm about to say: If you nominate him, he wins.

If he is your nominee the GOP stranglehold on the south becomes weakened and he will win throughout the industrial midwest. There will be no nail biting on election night and wondering about how certain votes didn't count because it won't matter. If Bill Richardson is your nominee he will win the White House outright.

The problem is that he will not win a nomination from your party because you will nominate someone who has a long enough public record to be properly Swift Boated.

I wish my own state could have a good governor and sadly it hasn't had one in my lifetime. New Mexico has had two great governors in the last decade with Richarson and former Governor Gary Johnson.

I don't have a formula for how the GOP could win the White House right now. If I see one I'll probably post it.

Big Breasted Women

Before I get to the part about big breasted women let me start by saying that regarding the 2006 election: You're all so dumb.

You all want the troops out of Iraq as do I but you voted for a party that won't do it. I'm here to tell you that the troops will not be leaving Iraq and it's actually quite possible that more will be deployed there. That is reason number one why you're all dumb.

Reason number two is that I kept telling you that neither party would address the problem of monetary policy in this nation and now yesterday it was reported that the American Dollar is at its weakest point in decades. Do you hear anybody in Congress or any of your newly elected chumps even talking about this?

As I type this the money in your wallets and bank accounts is becoming increasingly worthless because our government has to print more and more of it to pay for boondoggles, failed social programs, mismanaged wars, No Child Left Behind, and bridges to nowhere.

Only our policy of selling off our surplus Federal Reserve Dollars to countries like China who voluntarily devalue their own currency for trade favors with us has kept our worthless currency's head above water.

Our only hope right now is that the two parties in a divided government will not get along to the point where gridlock slows the spending.

As for Big Breasted Women? -- Yeah, they're really great. I had to give this post an intriguing title because there is no better way to get people to head to another site than to talk about monetary policies.

Okay...now for something personal

Sometimes when you blog you need to get personal. Even on a blog that is primarily about public policy and libertine thought. Most often people are more interested in reading about something personal...this blog will be as personal as it gets.

Since the age of 18 I've suffered from kidney stones. There has been a great deal of speculation as to why but I've never been able to fully shake it. I've been hospitalized once for them and have spent at least two other times in an emergency room because of them.

This last Sunday I got out of bed and felt a burning sensation in my bladder area. If you've ever had a bladder infection then you know what this feels like. If you haven't I'll do my best to explain it. Here it goes:

Imagine having to pee really bad...but instead of pee in your bladder it's a mixture of battery acid, snake venom and some hot magma from an exotic Hawaiian volcano. You respond to the sensation the way you always do by heading to the toilet for a session of "going number one" only you pee and find that it produced very little. You're quite certain that your bladder is empty but the sensation to pee has not gone away. Basically you feel like you're holding it all the time.

A good home remedy that produces good results is Cranberry juice. I go get a gallon of it and starting drinking glasses of it. I can't usually drink it straight so I cut it down with water. After an hour I feel like I really have to pee so I do and now the toilet water has a blush tint. Here's a urinary fun fact: If you're urine has any tint of red or pink in it then it means you're peeing blood. This explains the discomfort from the acid/venom/magma mixture I described in the last paragraph.

After a night where I woke up every half-hour to pee (but didn't really need to) I made an appointment to see my doctor the next day. I peed in a cup and after an analysis they discovered that it was just blood and no infection. This is good news...well relatively good news because I'm still peeing blood.

Since I have a history of kidney stones we both know how to tackle this. I'll take pain medicine and drink plenty of water. If the pain is managed then the stone can proceed. I have another sleepless night with less pain but frequent trips to the bathroom. Then morning came.

I got up and made what I thought was a real trip to the bathroom and when I began to pee nothing happened. This was different though because I could tell something actually needed to happen only it didn't. This told me that the pain medicine did in fact help the stone move along, though it had now moved to an area obstructing the flow of urine. This is progress though it presents a brand new and potentially dangerous problem.

I had to figure out a way to get this stone dislodged before the backup of urine became too much. The last thing you'd want to happen is to cause your bladder to rupture; that could cause toxic shock and may be fatal. I figured I had plenty of time because it didn't feel full.

The first thing I had to figure out was if I could pass any urine at all. With some muscle control and a tiny bit of straining I could produce a small two second stream at a time. At this rate I could empty my bladder in about 45 minutes. I also need to mention that in the 20 seconds it took to produce two seconds of flow I'm in a great deal of pain.

I spent some time thinking about how to fix it and came up with something I figured would work. I needed to get equal pressure around the stone. I need more than a back flow behind the stone I also needed to use whatever urine passed the stone to help dislodge it. Try to follow me on this...I had to get urine past the stone but not out of the uh...body. Basically I had to plug it off. Once I was sure I had close to equal pressure on both side of the stone I clenched a muscle that started the flow in another direction back toward the bladder. I knew it worked because I could feel it moving. I also felt it enough to have tears in my eyes. After unplugging the end I could control (standing over the toilet) it flowed out though stopped after about 3 seconds...it was stuck again only now nothing was coming out at all. This was bad news.

Now I could feel every bit of pressure behind the obstruction. I figured I had about an hour to decide what to do at this point. Keep trying to get it loose or go to the emergency room and have them push it back into my bladder with a catheter. Since I wanted the catheter to be a last ditch attempt I decided to keep at it.

I took a ten minute break because I was in so much pain I couldn't stand it. I knew the last thing I could try was just letting the pressure build up behind it as much as I could stand it and just give it a strain. Not a finesse way of handling it but the only maneuver I had left in my bag of tricks.

I stood over the toilet and concentrated. The pressure built up and built up until the burning was as intense as I could take it. I strained. I felt a sensation in me that I can't describe adequately. Like the focal point of straining was going to cause a problem with a special part of my body. It hurt so much that it felt like if I strained much longer I'd have a blowout similar to what happens when you leave a hot dog in the microwave too long. Blammo.

At this point the stone shot loose and I peed like I had never peed before. I felt relief and pain all at the same time. The good news is that it just looked like urine, no blood.

When I was done I was a bit dizzy and had a raging headache from the stress and straining. It still stings now as I type this even though I'm about eight hours removed from the experience.

I really feel like I dodged a bullet on this one. I'm sure the policies of the Bush administration are responsible somehow. That will be my next post.

Macy's Parade

The televised broadcast of this parade is complete rubbish.

NBC uses it as an opportunity to talk to celebrities in all of their TV shows while the floats you want to see are passing by in the background.

The worst part of this production was enough to make you want to trade places with an unfortunate prisoner in Abu Ghraib. Casts from different Broadway shows stopped in front of the Macy's store and lip-synced a scene from the show. I haven't sat in my livingroom and yelled at the TV so much since the Kerry/Bush debates.

This parade used to be a highlight of the holiday season. Now instead NBC has turned it into a long commercial for their shoddy primetime lineups.



Does anyone know why the Macy's logo looks like it belongs on an old Communist Party poster? Maybe their parade should be on May 1st instead. Now I know why the parade sucked, because they're all a bunch of Commies.

I have plans with family today. Here's hoping I don't repeat last year's episode with explosive diarrhea. Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Good Bye Milton Friedman

Libertarians have lost another great man this year. (Harry Browne passed on months ago) Milton Friedman was one of those guys who made so much sense that every president had him to the White House to sing his praises then turned out to be too chicken to follow his advice. Friedman is known for coining the phrase There's no such thing as a free lunch.

In tribute to Friedman I'll offer one of my favorites of his quotes:

"Nobody spends somebody else's money as carefully as he spends his own. Nobody uses somebody else's resources as carefully as he uses his own. So if you want efficiency and effectiveness, if you want knowledge to be properly utilized, you have to do it through the means of private property."

Medicated Blog Post #3

It's that time of year again where I have a cold and my head is in a cloud. I try to stay away from the blog so you all won't get sick too but sometimes I just can't resist. I only have disconnected thoughts now so you'll get my A-game analysis of current events brought to you by Sudafed.

1. Barak Obama has an unfortunate sounding name that will probably plague him. Too close to Osama. His name may as well be Rudolph Shitler.

2. My brother has had his Christmas tree up for a week already. Geez.

3. I had 40 Trick or Treaters this year. The most popular costume was a Pirate.

4. I forgot to shave this morning and now it's really starting to bug me.

Post Election Summary

The Democrat Party is poised to win both the Senate (still close) and the House of Representatives as I sit here typing this on the morning after the election.

The impact that this is going to make in the long run is still the reason why I don't vote for either of these parties. Below I'll list some major issues and I'll let you decide whether the change in party power structure will make a difference.

Monetary Policy
Trade Deficit
War in Iraq
Imminent Domain Abuse

I'm here to tell you that the only thing that will impact me is that when I go to visit my useless House Representative (Jay Inslee) he'll probably be in a bigger office. When I go I'll still be in the role of teacher when it comes to explaining the role of a Constitutionally restrained Federal Government. Then I'll return to my bunker and stock provisions like all good lovers of freedom.

My next project is to concentrate on my book and watch college basketball.

I'm slick with the ladies

Thoughout my childhood I was plagued with a nervous stomach. Anything exciting or out of the ordinary in life would put butterflies in my stomach. I can look back at some of the best days of my childhood and remember how those great feelings were also met with feeling of nausea.

I used to think I was cursed and that I would only be able to handle the mundane and routine. Going to a friend's house to spend the night or going camping during summer vacation always meant a thrilling time and the possibility of vomiting. My nervous stomach carried with me into my teenage years.

At 16 I was going on a 3-day camping trip with a church youth group. The week before the trip I had met a girl named Jennifer. She said she felt bad that she couldn't go on the camping trip because her boyfriend's birthday fell on that very weekend. Jennifer was an attractive girl but talked too much for my liking. Beyond talking too much in general she talked entirely too much to me.

The afternoon we gathered for the camping trip I was surprised to see Jennifer show up. I didn't ask why the sudden change in schedule because I figured she'd eventually tell me.

It was going to be a tight fit as far as car seating was concerned. By today's standards this was going to be unsafe but in the mid 1980's this was just something you dealt with. Looking back I have to make sure in my mind that it all happened the way I remember because it seems so unlikely. I had picked out the backseat section of my friend's car and my buddies Jeff and Brian sat back there with me. In the passenger bucket seat sat my friend Tom and his girlfriend Amy. This left enough room for the driver only but one more person wanted in the car. There was room in the cargo section in the back but she didn't want to sit there. Jennifer would be the extra person in our car. I offered to sit in the cargo area and be a bit cramped but instead she offered to sit on my lap. So there we were, seven of us in a compact car.

The back window by me wasn't the kind that rolled down. Instead of rolling down it had a lever that allowed it to open outward a couple of inches to provide ventilation. This was important because not only were we cramped but it was also kind of warm. Jennifer put her arm around my neck and for the most part we sat comfortably.

Midway through our trip Jennifer whispers a revelation. "I came on this trip because I wanted to be with you." I couldn't believe my ears. This may seem weird as everyone reading this has probably already figured out that she liked me but it was not so obvious to me. I pretty much have never been able to tell when a girl likes me. Even as she is sitting on my lap with her arm around me telling me that she changed her plans with her boyfriend because she wanted to be with me...I'm still wondering if she might like me. Basically I'm an idiot.

I began wondering what was going on. She likes me? No, she didn't say that. She said she wanted to be with me. Does that mean she likes me or I'm a likeable person and she wants to be with me like the guys sitting next to me like being with me...but they aren't sitting on my lap. Did she want to sit on my lap or is it because there's no room. Wait, did they hear her say that? Did I hear her say that? She smells so good. She did say that didn't she?

All this thinking got my stomach swirling. The lack of ventilation and the inability to take deep breaths made me worry the curse had emerged. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself but she began playing with my hair. The nervous excitement actually had my feet and fingers tingling. Sadly though my stomach was tingling too and it's all I could do to focus on staying calm.

We were several miles from reaching our destination and it was already dark outside as the packed car wheeled along in our caravan. I had to find a way to calm down otherwise this will be a disaster. Jennifer didn't know what she was dealing with.

Then Jennifer did something very unexpected...at least it was unexpected to me. She took her right hand and brought it to my face. She placed her thumb upright over my lips and leans in and kissed her thumb against my mouth. It wasn't a kiss, but it was almost a kiss. What was it then? Did she do this because she likes me? (Again, I'm dumb) It was at this moment the butterflies began to take flight.

My buddy Tom then said, "Did you just kiss him?" This got the attention of everyone in the car and she leaned forward and was denying it and saying that she kissed her thumb while everyone was teasing her. The car erupted into a loud discussion.

While she was leaning forward I pressed my face against the window to get some air from the two or three inches it was open. At this point I coughed. The cough began set in motion a string of convulsions I could not stop. In a crowded car with a pretty girl sitting on my lap I began vomiting out the window. After about three good blasts lasting about 20 seconds I was done. I felt so much better but I knew I had probably just ruined the trip for everyone.

I brought my head back forward and Jennifer asked me, "Tell them, did I really kiss you?" I just smiled and everyone in the car laughed and kept talking. I couldn't believe it. With seven people in a compact vehicle, the radio going and people talking and teasing each other I had actually vomited out the back window without a single person noticing. I began chewing on a stick of juicy fruit and enjoyed the rest of the trip as my stomach had begun to settle down.

At this point I didn't care if she liked me, I was just thankful I didn't make things any worse.

So did she like me and how was the camping trip? That's for another post someday.

Fake Phone Polls - corrupt politics

I posted a couple of weeks ago about phoney mail questionnaires that are really just fundraising letters that the GOP sends me from time to time. (I've received one from the Democrats as well two years ago which is funny because they got my address after I ordered something off of the PBS website) I've included an audio clip from a fake phone poll a GOP candidate is using in Texas in a race for congress.

Click here for audio.

Here's the story on this:

Tom Delay isn't running for Congress because he has been indicted for being what probably everyone in America thinks he is...a corrupt establishment politician. In Congressional Disrict 22 in Texas the GOP has no candidate on the ballot but they have endorsed a write-in candidate named Shelley Sekula-Gibbs. (poor choice to select a write in candidate with a difficult to spell hyphenated name but oh well)

Shelley is understandably behind in real polls so she has started her own poll to release to the press. In the above conversation they are simply communicating to voters that their only choice is to run Nick Lampson the Democrat against Sekoula-Gibbs but there is a small problem with the poll...that problem is named Bob Smither.

Bob Smither the Libertarian is not only on the ballot (as Sekula-Gibbs is not) but is leading in REAL polls because the rather conservative district has mostly felt that they would rather keep a Democrat out of office than support a write-in candidacy that probably hasn't much of a chance. Honestly this is the LP's best chance to elect a congressman in years.

This is a funny situation for Libertarians having a major party candidate possibly siphoning off votes from Smither but no one in the LP camp is complaining.

What DOES have many annoyed is this dishonest push polling attempt to make people believe that there are different names appearing on the ballot than actually are and doing it under the disguise of a research company. The audio above captures the lie.

I'd like to see some responses from some loyal GOP members who frequent this blog and tell me what you think.

Left Leaning Libertarians

I got a few emails from people asking about my view of Bruce Guthrie's performance in the campaign for US Senator in the state of Washington. Some were bothered by what was described as "the most left-wing candidate on the stage was Guthrie..."

The Libertarian Party is without a doubt the most diverse active party in the country. It has been strategized (especially in Washington state) that there probably are not many more Republican voters willing to vote for Libertarians. In the last couple of election cycles Libertarians in this state have begun promoting issues normally seen as left-wing or liberal. This has annoyed many that originally looked to Libertarians as an alternative to Republicans.

The matter is that most Republicans are not upset about deficit spending. Most Republicans think the Bush tax cuts are meaningful. For a Libertarian to stand up on a state-wide podium and lecture the state like Milton Friedman is a mistake and a recipe to get 1% of the vote. It's important for both Republicans and Democrats to understand that freedom must be given to all before it can be realized for yourself. There needs to be a new respect for our constitution and ALL of the Bill of Rights.

Votes will be necessary for the LP to regain major party status in Washington State. I don't apologize for Bruce Guthrie's left of center positioning. His Libertarian credentials are solid and he has my respect, my support, and my vote.

Wanna see the debate?
Go Here!

Immigration and Motorcycles

Thanks to the national immigration debate I've gained a new understanding in my personal life.

I've never had a motorcycle endorsement on my driver's license. The Motorcycle Safety classes fill up pretty fast and you usually have to sign up for them months in advance. But since I've already been riding for several years (by several I mean since Ronald Reagan was president) I just end up putting it off. I have very truthfully ridden thousands of miles without an endorsement. In fact this very summer I commuted to work almost exclusively on my motorcycle.

But I do not ride my motorcycle illegally simply because I don't have an endorsement. I'm simply an undocumented motorcyclist. Viva las Ratas!

Note: I do plan to get the endorsement and take the safety class...probably this winter when the waiting list shrinks some.

Friday the 13th

Although I'm not a particularly superstitious person Friday the 13th has always sort of been interesting to me. When I was younger and traveled with my father I noticed that none of the crappy motels we stayed in had a room 13. I thought there must be something to it if even motels stayed away from the number. Later on in football I wore the number 13.

My first observation of someone being unlucky on Friday the 13th was in 3rd grade. A girl in my class named Stacy (who by the way was at my 20th high school reunion just last weekend) wore white pants. While she was carrying a jar of paint across the room to her desk she slipped and fell on a wet spot on the floor and dumped the blue pain all over her white pants. Everyone blamed Friday the 13th for the accident but I felt bad for her. (yes, sometimes I do have empathy)

I never got new clothes. If I had dumped paint on my pants at school I would've had my ass kicked at home. Her family was wealthier than mine so I'm sure it was no big deal at all.

On a side note: I've never liked Stacy and look back at the incident with the paint with a measure of happiness. I'm a jerk.

Mail Update

The GOP sent me some mail this week. It was one of those questionnaire fundraising letters.

On a side note I should mention that if a political party sends you a questionnaire and acts like they want to know your opinion they are lying. They send the questionnaire because they know that you have opinions because they've put you on a mailing list of people who are politically active. So at the end of the questionaire they say that they need you to send in a donation to cover the cost of processing your questionnaire. Once they've filled out a deposit slip and processed your check they go ahead and begin processing your questionaire. I've taken the liberty of illustrating of how this process works below.



Anyway they addressed it to Ms. Tracy Green. If they're not going to offer me free women's underwear then I'm afraid I don't have any use for the GOP.

Free Panty

One of the cool things about being a guy and having a name that is also used by women is that sometimes your mail can be interesting.

Victoria's Secret sent a coupon offer to me for one free panty.

I'm still debating whether I should head to the mall and get one. I don't know if I can go in there and with a straight face say, "I'm here for my panty."

DRUGS!

I know that both the left and whacko right are represented by poster on this blog. I need input from you on all sides of this issue.

I don't expect necessarily any of you to agree with my position on ending the prohibition on 'controlled substances' but can there be any reasonable middle ground.

Let me submit a recent example covered by Reuters

ATLANTA (Reuters) - A U.S. woman held in jail for seven months longer than her original sentence because she was too poor to pay a $705 fine was freed on Wednesday, her attorney said.

Ora Lee Hurley was ordered to pay the fine and sentenced in August 2005 to 120 days in jail after she was convicted in Georgia of possession of cocaine for personal use and breaking the terms of probation for a similar offense 15 years before.

Can someone please tell me why any amount of jail time is reasonable for someone convicted of having a controlled substance for personal use.

I don't want to make this discussion about drug legalization because sadly that's not a reality in this country. Instead from both left and right, please tell me what the role of government force should be for someone like Ora Lee Hurley.

The Constitution

On September 17, 1787 the Constitution became the law of our land. Its purpose was to enumerate the powers of the federal government in hopes of limiting its size and scope on the citizenry while protecting each state equally.

In my powder room (a fancy name for a half-bath) I have a framed copy of the Constitution above my toilet. Here are the jokes I submit my house guests to when they use my bathroom:

"If you look closely the preamble reads: We We the People."

"That's where I have my daily constitution."

"If you're a Republican or Democrat please use the toilet paper provided and not wipe your butt with the constitution."

I'm pretty proud of my bathroom because it looks pretty cool. It is the only finished room in the whole house.

Happy Birthday Constitution...sorry I didn't get you anything.

Some updates

My profile describes me as a libertarian with two cats. I'd like to take a moment to correct this description. I'm still a libertarian but now I have one cat.

My grey cat Grizzie was tragically killed by a Coyote in the greenbelt behind my house. This is the same greenbelt that caught my fall from the retaining wall in the previous post. My other cat Chesty doesn't seem to miss Grizzy one bit as he never really liked her. His peeing in the kitchen seemed to stop for awhile though he did crap on the floor of my upstairs loft last night...so who knows.

On the subject of my back I'd like to update everyone and announce that I'm able to stand up straight now but it's very painful if I've been sitting for more than an hour.

The trade deficit was at its highest for last month primarily because of oil. Remember that it is THIS deficit which actually impacts our overall federal receipts, not your income tax. If this deficit continues you could NEVER be taxed enough to balance the budget...remember that.

I got my ballot in the mail for the primary elections and some judges. I resent having my taxes pay for the primary elections of two parties I don't belong to. Libertarians handle their primaries using conventions. We don't ask others to pay the cost of us deciding who OUR candidate should be. I didn't care that much about the judges so I threw the ballot away. (after shredding it so Grump won't snatch it out of my trash and vote for some Communist judge)

Also, I can't wait until George W. Bush is no longer our president. Now that's an update.

If I was a dinosaur...

...I'd be a Mybackisaurus.

Walking on my backyard retaining wall I maneuvered around my deck (which I've done dozens of times). To steady myself I held onto one of the vertical rails only this time the rail I used for support came off in my hand.

I fell backwards about 5 feet down and landed on my back. Don't be alarmed though, my fall was cushioned by blackberry bushes.

My back now feels like I carried Oprah up twenty flights of stairs then set her down only to put on a shirt that had five fighting cats in it.

Seattle Liberals

I was told from another reader that a person who read this blog didn't find my last post that entertaining as he doesn't like "Bush Supporters."

You see this genius is a Seattle liberal so when he saw that I wrote about having "an opposing view" it simply would occur to him that I must be a Republican and therefore a Bush supporter.

It's barely worth wasting any breath to Seattle libs about it but I like educating people around the country about what the average Seattle Democrat is like. It didn't used to be like this...hell Scoop Jackson was from this state but you can't find any Democrats now that even knows who Scoop was...or they think he was a Republican. (Since he's the godfather of the Neo-Cons he sorta was...but anyway)

So genius, I'm not a Bush supporter, I'm not a Republican and I'm not a conservative but I STILL think you Seattle liberals are morons. I know you probably think a Libertarian is the lady that helps you find copies of the Communist Manifesto at the King County Library but you'd be wrong...but being wrong is a full-time job for you.

Salesmen and stupid dinner party conversation

I was recently at a dinner party. I'm not much of the dinner party type to be quite honest but I like most of the people who were attending this function. I can be known to enjoy conversation although I'm more of a listener than anyone who can be confused as the life of the party.

At this dinner party was a salesman. I can always tell when someone is in sales before they mention what they do because they ask lots of questions and don't listen to a single one of your answers. This guy (I'll call him Justin) asked me what I did for a living three times and never really listened to a word I said. Salesmen like "Justin" annoy me and I can't resist the temptation to screw with them.

I mentioned that I had sold my car recently and in a predictable response he said, "So you sell cars, that's great!" Now keep in mind that I told him what I actually do for a living and never ever once did I say I sold cars. But instead of correcting him and telling him yet again I just decided to play along.

First he tells me "I have great respect for people who sell cars." Now if you know any sales people you know this is code. This means that he thinks that selling cars isn't worthy of respect and ranks down near selling DVD players and washing machines. So basically he's pretending to show me respect for a line of work I don't even do. I pretended to be flattered by his admission of respect for what he thinks I do for a living (again because he's an idiot) and I begin to tell him the secrets of selling cars. He listens and asks tons of questions. Everyone else at the table knows I don't sell cars. Everyone else at the table works with this salesman and every minute that passes by while I spout off bullshit about a job I know nothing about emphasizes that this guy is a complete tool. In other words I'm in my element.

Then "Justin" starts talking about current affairs. He basically knows nothing except to bash the Bush administration like anyone who lives in Seattle. But instead of defending Bush I suggest that his so-called solution for stem-cell research is flawed because it defies the laws of economics and personal incentive. He then says, "...well we shouldn't talk about politics in mixed company." and then proceeds to leave the table. This is typical of Seattle liberals when confronted with the radical notion of something known as "an opposing view."

I have since offered my help to him in getting a good deal on a car if and when he is interested...since I'm an insider in his tiny mind.

I think I may tell him to use a 'code phrase' with the salesman to get an insider deal...something like "I'd like you to slip me into something with leather." I'll add that to seal the deal he has to offer the code phrase with a knowing wink. At that point I hope he finds the kind of deal he deserves.

Our solar system just became less accepting

The Bush Administration has once again let the 'little guy' down by their dangerous and reckless policies. Now a planet in our solar system is the latest victim of so-called "Compassionate Conservatism."

Pluto, whose only crime is being the smallest planet in our solar system, is now on the outside looking in as the exclusive club of 'planets' just became smaller.

I guess if this type of thing continues to happen to small plants that are far away then which soon-to-be-former planet will be next? If we can't send a probe to Uranus then I guess we just tell them to find another solar system? This policy must stop now.

Yes, I realize I said "send a probe to Uranus." Snicker.